its getting really hard to carry on right now. unseen tension in my life right now. kind of messed up recently, even if i dont seem like it. yeah. my thoughts and life are a little messy right now.

i miss my dog. i remember just after, when my uncle came, he said, “Without the dog, the house is really quiet now, isn’t it?” and i could tell how sad he was. we're all sad. and i realized sooner or later everyone will leave, and we just have to move on. we cant leave ourselves behind. and if i fall, i only hope that there will be someone to catch me.

did something stupid today, went back to stare at my primary school. and just stone there for awhile. cause usually at that time, we'd have ended the practices. didnt see anyone though. i miss ycsog alot. but i cant go back there, cause of my own actions. i miss them, but i cant face them. and hoping that they are happy is all i can ask for. useless actions for a old memory.

on a completely unrelated topic, my hair is really short now. i told the hairdresser to cut short at the sides, and it ended up short everywhere. oh well. maybe i wont have to cut my hair till june. haha. rubbish. my hair grows too fast. we'll see.

i think i matured alot from the past. agree?

sick sick sick. i am, was sick. oh well. my tuition teacher was sick too, so i didnt go for tuition. and cause i was sick, i didnt go for SRR meeting. ): i did send the proposal over though. i think its a substandard proposal. i dont know what to put in. oh well.

yesterday was awesome. cause we had steamboat and saw zhiyu, whom i did not see in a long long time and i missed. (: and cause it was qiannong's birthday celebration. or at least part of it. somehow. haha. she got embarassed by us singing happy birthday at the steamboat place. :D food is naise. they have frozen brocolli and ice-cream. frozen brocolli which is hilarious. :O oh well.

i have not done my homework. i wanted to do it today, but cause i was sick, i crashed till 3pm. ._. and its my grandpa's birthday so im going out to celebrate soon. :D happy birthday grandpa!

i think im one of the few people who are updating semi-regularly ish now. i think i'll probably die out soon. haha. i feel like im ranting now of days. oh well. i look forward to monday, not because of school, but because of the after school. :D

HAPPY MONTHSARY GIRLFRIEND! :D

tomorrow is steamboat! i am excited. :D

i bought a cheapo white belt from daiso. HAHA. i like it though. but it just nice fit around my waist. says something about my size. HAHA. okay. whatever. :D

i have nothing to do. i havent started my homework. procastinating. ._. oh wells. life is interesting. i should go sleep.

theres nothing to post. THERE IS LESSONS TOMORROW. like there was today and yesterday! ._.

i shall attempt to keep a constant blog post. :O btw, if you realized, the scroll bar thingy for the entry side is kind of screwed. the up and down buttons on your keyboard work though. :D

today was an okayish kind of day. went jamming. jamming is fun. (: tomorrow there is lessons! and various random things. hmm. so we shall see. halfway through jamming i suspected i had a fever, but its gone now. :O had a headache though. got worse towards the end of jamming.

came home and got lonely. i wished i had a brother or something. then at least it would be easier to talk to. hopefully. no sense in wishing though. the butterfly project is awesome though. so you should totally look it up. though there are a few different versions. we should all draw butterflies to support them. (:

this term passed fast. i think my blog is boring. hmmmm. ._. oh well.

my life seems so full of contradictory moments. i would think of this idea one second, then find out something that pulls me down the next.

and today i finally realized how much i love SLB. and i realized how i would rather stay on and suffer sometimes, rather than leave this board. i feels so sad, and disappointed, when i see people commenting on SLB now. they all say that its falling, in a disastrous condition, unprofessional. and no matter how much i want to contradict them, i realized that i have no reason to tell them its not true, when it is true. the SLB is falling apart, and we are the cause. how long is it going to take before the SLs gather together and save this falling family? who will be the catalyst? whose words will be the ones to finally reach them? how long will it stay in their minds? a second, a minute, a day, a month, a year? how long before they lose themselves and give up. will i be the one to pull it together? will i be the one to be laughed at for having foolish ideals? well, i dont care. im going to fight for SLB, and im going to fight hard. i may not be the best SL, but it doesnt matter. i will try my best to keep it together, and i cant do it alone. who will even see this, or join me on this road? i dont want to see my family fall. and i cry, cry for this board, for all the things i see but i cant change. and when it all comes to an end, what will happen to us? and if i give my all, and nothing happens, then i dont know what i can do anymore.

its getting really hard to carry on right now. unseen tension in my life right now. kind of messed up recently, even if i dont seem like it. yeah. my thoughts and life are a little messy right now.

i miss my dog. i remember just after, when my uncle came, he said, “Without the dog, the house is really quiet now, isn’t it?” and i could tell how sad he was. we're all sad. and i realized sooner or later everyone will leave, and we just have to move on. we cant leave ourselves behind. and if i fall, i only hope that there will be someone to catch me.

did something stupid today, went back to stare at my primary school. and just stone there for awhile. cause usually at that time, we'd have ended the practices. didnt see anyone though. i miss ycsog alot. but i cant go back there, cause of my own actions. i miss them, but i cant face them. and hoping that they are happy is all i can ask for. useless actions for a old memory.

on a completely unrelated topic, my hair is really short now. i told the hairdresser to cut short at the sides, and it ended up short everywhere. oh well. maybe i wont have to cut my hair till june. haha. rubbish. my hair grows too fast. we'll see.

i think i matured alot from the past. agree?

sick sick sick. i am, was sick. oh well. my tuition teacher was sick too, so i didnt go for tuition. and cause i was sick, i didnt go for SRR meeting. ): i did send the proposal over though. i think its a substandard proposal. i dont know what to put in. oh well.

yesterday was awesome. cause we had steamboat and saw zhiyu, whom i did not see in a long long time and i missed. (: and cause it was qiannong's birthday celebration. or at least part of it. somehow. haha. she got embarassed by us singing happy birthday at the steamboat place. :D food is naise. they have frozen brocolli and ice-cream. frozen brocolli which is hilarious. :O oh well.

i have not done my homework. i wanted to do it today, but cause i was sick, i crashed till 3pm. ._. and its my grandpa's birthday so im going out to celebrate soon. :D happy birthday grandpa!

i think im one of the few people who are updating semi-regularly ish now. i think i'll probably die out soon. haha. i feel like im ranting now of days. oh well. i look forward to monday, not because of school, but because of the after school. :D

HAPPY MONTHSARY GIRLFRIEND! :D

tomorrow is steamboat! i am excited. :D

i bought a cheapo white belt from daiso. HAHA. i like it though. but it just nice fit around my waist. says something about my size. HAHA. okay. whatever. :D

i have nothing to do. i havent started my homework. procastinating. ._. oh wells. life is interesting. i should go sleep.

theres nothing to post. THERE IS LESSONS TOMORROW. like there was today and yesterday! ._.

i shall attempt to keep a constant blog post. :O btw, if you realized, the scroll bar thingy for the entry side is kind of screwed. the up and down buttons on your keyboard work though. :D

today was an okayish kind of day. went jamming. jamming is fun. (: tomorrow there is lessons! and various random things. hmm. so we shall see. halfway through jamming i suspected i had a fever, but its gone now. :O had a headache though. got worse towards the end of jamming.

came home and got lonely. i wished i had a brother or something. then at least it would be easier to talk to. hopefully. no sense in wishing though. the butterfly project is awesome though. so you should totally look it up. though there are a few different versions. we should all draw butterflies to support them. (:

this term passed fast. i think my blog is boring. hmmmm. ._. oh well.

my life seems so full of contradictory moments. i would think of this idea one second, then find out something that pulls me down the next.

and today i finally realized how much i love SLB. and i realized how i would rather stay on and suffer sometimes, rather than leave this board. i feels so sad, and disappointed, when i see people commenting on SLB now. they all say that its falling, in a disastrous condition, unprofessional. and no matter how much i want to contradict them, i realized that i have no reason to tell them its not true, when it is true. the SLB is falling apart, and we are the cause. how long is it going to take before the SLs gather together and save this falling family? who will be the catalyst? whose words will be the ones to finally reach them? how long will it stay in their minds? a second, a minute, a day, a month, a year? how long before they lose themselves and give up. will i be the one to pull it together? will i be the one to be laughed at for having foolish ideals? well, i dont care. im going to fight for SLB, and im going to fight hard. i may not be the best SL, but it doesnt matter. i will try my best to keep it together, and i cant do it alone. who will even see this, or join me on this road? i dont want to see my family fall. and i cry, cry for this board, for all the things i see but i cant change. and when it all comes to an end, what will happen to us? and if i give my all, and nothing happens, then i dont know what i can do anymore.