i think too long of a holiday without anything to do is bad for you.

i have also realized i've been in quite a depressed mood for the past few days. which was why i didnt really update my blog for the past few days. so yeah.

this holiday has made me feel lonely. could be due to reading books about siblings, watching shows that have close siblings. i've never been close to my sisters. gender difference? years difference? 3 sisters, many years difference. 19,23,27.

we hardly talk. we can, but we dont. not anymore. i guess we just grew apart. but isnt that too early? we drifted almost 8 years ago. you had your friends, i never really had mine. but still we never talked. when we needed something, we would ask. it would be awkward sometimes. but still.

19, near but still too far. 27, a child-like innocence. 23, never close. 14, the odd one. one after, the last, but never stayed, lost to the winds. would you have been my friend, baby brother? the close one i could have had? but its too late now. the clock ticks on, and your already gone.

i've been thinking about my life, about me, the past few days. and i realized i didnt know much about myself. so i thought about it, and realized some little reasons behind some of the things i do the most. some of them are probably common, but some of them are just weird. and some of them just end up hurting more after a while.

dont tell me that we'll stay friends forever.
dont tell me that i have a wonderful life. its good enough, but there are still the little things.
dont tell me that just because i have a big house im rich. you dont know the reasons behind it.
dont tell me that just because my family has a few cars i have a good life.
dont tell me that im pampered, cause its just not true.
dont tell me that you'd wish you were me, when sometimes i wished i was somebody else.
but then again, we'd all just be forgotten eventually. lost to the winds, snatched by ghosts of the past.

but then again, if we think about it too much, it'll only hurt more. so why not just let it go? let it drift away. so then again, i dont care. cause their only words. so go ahead, say them all, not that many people will know. anyway, its the little moments that we show we care that really matter anyway. so, its still worth it. (:

for those people that thought i was happy all the time, this should reveal more to you.

i think too long of a holiday without anything to do is bad for you.

i have also realized i've been in quite a depressed mood for the past few days. which was why i didnt really update my blog for the past few days. so yeah.

this holiday has made me feel lonely. could be due to reading books about siblings, watching shows that have close siblings. i've never been close to my sisters. gender difference? years difference? 3 sisters, many years difference. 19,23,27.

we hardly talk. we can, but we dont. not anymore. i guess we just grew apart. but isnt that too early? we drifted almost 8 years ago. you had your friends, i never really had mine. but still we never talked. when we needed something, we would ask. it would be awkward sometimes. but still.

19, near but still too far. 27, a child-like innocence. 23, never close. 14, the odd one. one after, the last, but never stayed, lost to the winds. would you have been my friend, baby brother? the close one i could have had? but its too late now. the clock ticks on, and your already gone.

i've been thinking about my life, about me, the past few days. and i realized i didnt know much about myself. so i thought about it, and realized some little reasons behind some of the things i do the most. some of them are probably common, but some of them are just weird. and some of them just end up hurting more after a while.

dont tell me that we'll stay friends forever.
dont tell me that i have a wonderful life. its good enough, but there are still the little things.
dont tell me that just because i have a big house im rich. you dont know the reasons behind it.
dont tell me that just because my family has a few cars i have a good life.
dont tell me that im pampered, cause its just not true.
dont tell me that you'd wish you were me, when sometimes i wished i was somebody else.
but then again, we'd all just be forgotten eventually. lost to the winds, snatched by ghosts of the past.

but then again, if we think about it too much, it'll only hurt more. so why not just let it go? let it drift away. so then again, i dont care. cause their only words. so go ahead, say them all, not that many people will know. anyway, its the little moments that we show we care that really matter anyway. so, its still worth it. (:

for those people that thought i was happy all the time, this should reveal more to you.