ITS MY 38TH POST! :O i apologize for the non-updatedness for the past few days. but better than somebody! last post:2010年9月14日. :O UPDATE LAH KHASIM. ok. i highly doubt you even read my blog. ._.

i was sick
yesterday, and yesterday yesterday. yesterday yesterday was just a sore throat, with a killer cough and painful ness. then because i got into the rain and was not taking care of myself at class dinner, yesterday i had a fever/sore throat/coughing/runny nose/ headache. and i headache the whole day! D: killing me. i has not felt this sick since ever. D: then i want sleep, but too restless, so cannot. today seems ok though. still abit of sore throat and cough.

iPhone4
is gonna be my new phone! :D like yay. but im only going to buy next week. so w/e. :D i ish happy!

CAUSE BABY YOUR A FIREWORK
yeah. i likey fireworks. the video is so goood. good as in OMG IT MADE ME CRY. yeah. its so inspirational. i still dont get what the fuss over the gay kiss is about. i think its ok, i think its actually good that katy perry is showing the world how gay people need more confidence. ok, something like that. i dont know how to explain it. ._. GO AWAY HOMOPHOBES. WE DONT NEED YOU! :D

i shall end here. oh btw, class dinner was the bestest :D

somehow
it isnt that sad. i dont think it hit yet. maybe i'll cry overnight at the class chalet. or maybe i'll live in self-denial. still, i will miss this class. epicly loud and annoying class, but somehow still together as one. due to me having the camera, my facebook is getting spammed by notifications after i uploaded the photos. which is why i'm not on facebook right now. tomorrow is class dinner. so weird. i might wear class tee. with a sticky cap. cause its the only cap i have and i havent actually worn it yet. cause im just that bored. and i dont know what else to wear. well, we'll see. (:

my headphones
have officially died. which is like. so sad. now the left side completely no sound. and the right only got sound if you hold the connection at some weird angle. which i cant possibly hold. so i need new earpieces!

iphone4!
i want. but i dont know if my handphone plan is going to end soon. it should end soon, but not sure when. hmm. i should be getting an iphone. unless my mother randomly decides not to give me an iphone. D: but i wants. but we dont always get what we want. so oh well.

i read
a random story. which is depressing but true i guess. it was a fiction on how we as humans, and as the lower ones on the chain of command, how we have no choice but to keep quiet about what bad the uppers do to us. on how the uppers push off work to us, and we have no choice but to accept it with a fake smile and carry on. and also on how a person can be so close to cracking but nobody else notices, even when its so obvious. which makes me think, how often does it apply to all of us. i think it applies to everyone, cause everyone has their own breaking point, and sometime it reaches so close, but nobody ever realizes, and even if they do, you just pretend that everything is fine, and you just say "i'm fine" and the others just move on, accepting it and forgetting about you soon. everyone has their neuroses and i guess we mostly keep it to ourselves. and then i wonder, how long till i break? but then, who knows?

i have matured
apparantly. based on my report book. and i guess its true. i am mature ok! i just dont show it much. and as a standard in most of my comments, they say how i need to find a balance. and oh well. we'll just see.

how lovely
life is. i just realized im a liar. but then again, who isnt. we lie about the small things, and then eventually, you realize that all these small things just kill you eventually. but you realize that you cant stop. and eventually you break.

laughs
to get off the uber serious topic. i went to youtube. and found this. last year video
where katy perry gets her boobs plastered. :O kind of hilarious. and weird. i wonder who bought it. and another more recent but kind of old news video. where katy perry sings on sesame street! :O

i shall end here. so should i wear class tee?

this post is dedicated to the awesome 204. im not going to write individual messages, cause i rock like that. actually its cause im too lazy to write one by one.

guys, through these two years together, through the uncountable time we spent together, we have bonded, in some way or another. some of us may not be close, but still, we care. some of might not even like each other, but in the end, we are still one class no matter what. can we for this last day together, put aside all unhappy feelings, and be together for this one day, happy and as one? we will never have this chance again, with all of us together, and we have already missed our chance of a complete class outing. our numbers have dropped, but im sure somewhere, somehow, he knows. and she isnt here anymore. but we are forever as one. i dont care what the others say, and im sure you guys know too. we're 41, no matter what. we're 204, and its not going to change. no matter where we go, we will carry this piece of all of us everywhere. can we forget all of our prejudices and fights, and childish things, so we can just be a class? but then again, who are we if we dont have all our little flaws? but still, can we at least talk to each other. cause i dont want us to end like this, with some of us not even saying anything. i know im not close with a few of you guys, especially some of the guys. but even so, i will miss you. cause we're altogether as one.

204, i love you. all of you are original, cannot be replaced. and cause we rock like that. you're all beautiful/handsome and amazing. and dont ever forget that. for someone somewhere, will care for you and think of you.

oh gosh. i cant believe i took so long to write so little. i also cant believe i was crying while writing this. i dont express my feelings well ok? so be happy that im writing this, not like most other stuff where i dont even write notes. cause we're awesome and cant be forgotten.

KARMA
baby. Indonesia has been hit by an earthquake! sorry to say this indonesia, but karma's a bitch. retribution for the haze. if any indonesian people read this, i apologize, i feel sad that it has happened, but still, the haze may be killing people here. so, KARMA BABY, KARMA.

MILKING
i dreamt that i was getting milked. again. there are 2 senses of the word.
1) that i could possibly be a cow, and a female one at that.
2) and milking can be refered to males. think about it yourself. what is thick and white and can be drank?
this is probably not normal. in reference to 2. wouldnt that be a blowjob? ._. im underage man. go away.
oh. and if your wondering how i know 2. dont ask. and dont wonder. i just know. cause im smart like that.

COMBINATION
has been submitted. no regrets baby. this is my choices
1) 2bBE
2) 1BE
3) 2bAE
and in reference to that, here are my marks.
English -71 marks, A2
HCL - 47 marks, D7
Maths - 54 marks, C6
Science - 73 marks, A2
Geog - 57 marks, C5
Hist - 57 marks, C5
Lit - 67 marks, B4
D&T - 78 marks, A1
Art - 56 marks, C5
Civic & moral education - A
Music -B
Project Work - B
Percentage - 62.2%
L1R5 - 18
important ones are in bold. my results are terribad. last in class, 201/242 in level. i am a weird person, science got triple science standard, maths uber fail. lets see, for double with elective, i need 65%, 60 science, 70 maths, IF I AM NOT WRONG. so. we'll see if i can actually get into my stream of choice. oh well. i already know im weird. that science and maths should be together. w/e. im a weird person, and im unique, so i'm awesome and i rock.

i think i shall end here today. oh, P6 recruitment, tomorrow, i dont like you. thankyouverymuch.

touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me. i wanna be dirty!

sadistic

but still, i smiled epicly when i saw this. :O i need happy things! :D and this has made my day. it filled my mind with whacking a certain SOMEONE over the head. :D umm. yeah. :D

though this one is sad

yeah. so if you understand it, you see why its sad. and this reminds me of some other stuff that is completely unrelated but was so sad it made me cry. gosh. :O not good. sigh. i shall divert the topic from that depressing thingy.

i shall be happy

:D though. this is kinda homophobic. me no likey. D:

i need to think of things to write
cause i have no idea what to write anymore. D: i am topicless. gosh. i need an intelligent topic that can make me look good. :D

ANNOUNCER DUTY
sucks. cause i dont like it. cause i panic and get stage fright. D: its so much easier when you cant actually tell anyone is looking at you. and when your not alone. unfortunately, the world doesnt work like that. so. yeah. do i talk too fast? apparantly so. i shall -attempt- to do better. 3 more days! :D

SRR GAMES DAY
has irritated me. cause i got a last minute notice, rushed out the whole event proposal in the space of a few hours, and then it got cancelled! although, i kind of wanted it to be cancelled, cause it was very rush and hard to organize and just kind of weird. but still, i wasted a few hours of my life! D: postponed to next year. and things shall be improved. mr pah said not too bad of an idea though. hmmm. ._.

P6 Recruitment Talk
is on wednesday, 9am to 11.30am ish? i still have cca after that. dont want go cca. cca boring! cca nothing to do! cca should just end now and continue next year and not have cca during holidays! CCA IS WONDERFUL! yeah right. :D read between the lines. or, on the line? ._. oh well. :P

i just realized
that i have run out of topics for today. and actually got quite a few topics, linkless, boring and pointless. :O oh well. :D

OH SORRY! i didnt realize the comics were that huge. :P oh well.

its not like i have a choice. yeesh. D:

im not telling you what that means. go figure. ._. im turning more pessimistic. not a very good thing. my original post was going to be a one liner. directed to some people. and not very nice. oh well. but i didnt want to.

i have no idea what im doing anymore. i have no idea whats going on in my life. :o. lets just see whats going on currently in my life.
1) orientation aic
2) srr games day oic (?)
3) morning announcer next week, this week? ._.
4) appreciation week duties
5) srr meeting (?)
6) intensive camp
7) dentals
8) tuition, after exam. haha. ._.
9) class chalet
10) outings(?)
11) combination choices
12) dread of next year

i dont even know what im actually trying to get from the list. ._. i think theres more, but i just dont remember. which is not good. i should stop doubting myself. ._. oh well.

facebook helps to pass time.

woo hoo combined science.
apparantly one sister took double, chem/physics.
the other one took combined with pure bio. which this school doesnt give. D:

my results are terrible.

i need more books to read. but i dont know what kind of books i want to read.

ilikeyou.youronmymindallthetime.

hello world. its 21/10/2010. 20/10/2010 is gone like the wind.

sometimes you wonder how the time went by, and then you realize you cant even remember much of the time that has passed. it makes you want to think, how did i spend all the time? was none of it memorable? of course, you remember the little bits of pieces, but you cant remember the order in which they happen and then everything just runs together to become one big memory. which is sad. do you have a special person that you remember moments with? do you have a person you want to spend time with? treasure it. it's not gonna last.

i have no idea why im sitting in the dark and thinking such sombre thoughts. i'm probably killing my eyes doing this, not that their not already killed enough. im going to go blind. so much for seeing the world. i think. i'll move on to happier topics.

i spent about 3 hours drawing today. just this one character from fairy tail, jellal. he doesn't really look like jellal. he looks like a completely different character. ok. not completely different, but not really recognizable. but its not too bad i guess. considering how i've never really learnt how to draw characters and this is my first attempt. kind of. i may consider touching up in school if i get too bored. im not really satisfied with it i guess. but i can't do it till those perfect kinds of sketches some people do. i might pick up drawing in my free time, like copying different anime characters i like. we'll see. i think i'll stick to face drawings. too lazy and time comsuming to draw the whole body. and i cant draw the body properly either. i cant draw the limbs properly. i cant really draw eyes either. not very nice. uneven! D: so depressing. oh well.

i've finished my sticky. well, most of it. left only a bit, like 10 pieces left. i might go refill my jar, but its so far away. maybe i'll get someone to refill it for me. hmm. i think this post is dragging on. im trying to think of stuff to write. cant really think of anything more.

so the end. goodnight.

its my 31st post! i dont have much interesting to post.

hmm.This is rather interesting. cuddle seats! :O what if the people got horny. brings mental to people. hmm. sides that, can you imagine standing for a few hours?! with no place to move. thats so sad. news is interesting. for now. :O

i forgot how to link for a moment. then i had to go check my blog links. :O sorry people, whom i should have linked but im too lazy to edit and add in. pfft. oh well.

my sticky is almost finished! :O at least orientation base schedule is down. somewhat. haha.

i is got arrowed for golf ushering. actually, i dont really mind. 3.30 released. actually. to be specific. 3.30 fully dressed at foyer. i need about 10ish mins to change full blazer? i'm not sure. hmm. but, i might have pt before that. for cca. which would mean that i'd be sweating like heck. im going to stink. :O i shall reclarify the defination of "excused from cca" whole thing? or from 3ish. but cca starts at 2.30. so hmm?! ridiculous. this makes no sense. and mr tang is gonna harp on this. say i biased to SLB. haha. :O oh well. the ushering should be fun though. dinner provided, transport home not. serangoon mrt i guess. :O my beloved mrt. oh wait. im walking home in my blazer? :O oops. i wonder if i'll be stared at. oh well. fun. :D

i have no idea what to post. i think i have to get back to school specially to pick up my blazer tomorrow. :O or thursday. preferably tomorrow. i realize also, i have no key. so how to take? cant be just go there lucky lucky see if got key anot. and i require an ER member. so how? :O terrible! terrible! :O i have nothing else to write.

nothing else to write. nothing else to write~ i think orientation will be funish. but stressful. and full of breakdowns. OH NO! :O but with friends so oh well. we'll see how things work out.

i dont think i have anything else to post. so. goodnight! :O

its my 30th post already! :O

surprise surprise. STICKY.

sorry. abit random. i get more random when i'm tired!

tomorrow is child's eye.

reviews say not that good. its corny and rely on soundtracks.

whatever. :O

frisbees are fun. small bikes for big people are not.

i find myself listening to lucifer. randomly. hmm?

im not usually a fan of kpop.

ok. back to normal songs.

i am trying to open the post exam schedule.

TOMORROWS POST EXAM IS WEIRD MAN.

weird physics thingy. and IP thingy. and photoshoot? individual? OMG. so ugly.

i have 3148 unread emails. hmm.

i have the 204th and 1111th post on class photo on facebook! :O

when make believe is better than your every day life. this is common. and commonly wanted.

BLEH.

fishballs. i feel like eating fishballs.

tomorrow im watching a movie! i shall change in school tomorrow. if i can decide what to wear. or maybe i'll change at J8. whatever.

sticky. i shall bring my sticky jar to school tomorrow. yeaaaah. its the end of the world.

whatever. if we die we'll die.

we shall roast tomorrow. in the field. under the sun. and turn into dried bits of human.

i wonder if we taste nice. ._.

cannibal!

still. :O are there cannibals in the world now? legal ones? hmm.

WHATEVER.

i shall. stop my random thoughts. now. before i link this to some uber weird topic.

hmm. i apologize for the uber random linking and post today. :O im getting lazy to post. darn! D:

fairy tail is epic amusing. i love it. :D

hello. i have not been posting recently. i am guilty as charged. D:

i had KFC for dinner last night! :D cause my grandparents went to malaysia, then nobody cook.

i went to the dentist yesterday yesterday and i broke my brace yesterday. but i lazy go dentist again. so can only chew on the left side.

today there are people coming to my house to eat lunch and crap. they are not here yet. due to various reasons. such as spongebob being distracting and failure to notice the time. some cant be controlled, like bus. but the others are weird. and quite epic. i should try sometime. go somewhere a few hours late. say i was distracted by something. :D they are supposed to be here by 12. :O

i remember i had this cheem thinking yesterday. but i cant remember it now. :O we'll see whether i post it up. if i can remember it. ._.

DUMB PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE HERE NOW. i shall continue waiting. (:

hello world.

I HAVE NOTHING TO POST! OMG.

tomorrow is the last day of exams.

i am going to sticky tomorrow.

i will most probably get my cap tomorrow.

i am going to the dentist tomorrow.

should i change my braces band to purple?

hmmm! interesting.

ok. nothing is actually that interesting.

fairy tail is hilarious. i likey.

DUETS WAS EPIC. I LIKEY MORE.

thats all folks.

OMG THERES NO CCA ON FRIDAY. YES!

you did not just see me cheer for having no cca. you DID NOT see that. (:

short post! i think. we'll see as i write. :D

I HAVE ADVICE FOR YOU! dont fall too much. too painful. D: and dont do stupid things. like flying off a board. and falling epicly onto the floor to sprawl there and look miserable and hurt all over. i now ache all over. seriously. though. im starting to get better at swaveboard. (: alot better i think. but i realized i got lousier at my biking skills. ok. i was always that lousy. i cant turn well. so. yeah.

tomorrow is maths! the day after is science! im screwed! yay. i shall not care anymore. i dont think i can even get into double science. my maths score is too lousy. oh well. appeal? or just go combined. i hope lit get 65%. :O dnt was today. was kind of weird. and dumb. and weird. and fail. and i dont know how to do alot. haha. so oh well~

i dont know what to say anymore. hmm.

you know i know how
to make em stop and stare as i zone out
the club cant even handle me right now
watching you watching me i go all out
the club cant even handle me right now

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

hello. i shall give up on topicifying.(?!) :O i dont think thats a word. maybe topicfying? topicing. topicying? i doubt so. HIGHLY.

once again, i have spent time during the weekend and after school crapping and doing things completely non related and not helpful to my exams. oops. so much for working hard for streaming. :O

LIT PAPER WAS MURDEROUS! it tried to kill us. i swear. 4 questions, 50 marks, 1 and a half hour. IT IS HARD OK. RUSH LIKE SIAO. and section B, anyhow spam, and i think i didnt actually answer the question. hmm. put in total about 4 pages of writing for 4 questions. so.. not too bad. haha.

TOMORROW IS DNT PAPER. I SHALL HECK CARE. cause dnt, you suck and i hate you. :D and im too lazy to memorize the darn material lists. the rest i shall use common sense. YAY! i typed out the materials on word for peixuan, just the TABLES! and there were 906 words. NINE HUNDRED AND SIX WORDS. on metals, wood and plastic. D: and no elaboration okay! whatever. i shall not care. D:

WAVE BOARDING MADE MY ASS HURT. D: falling on ass and/or smacking into a wall is not fun. however, going around on one is fun. :D

i have taken to wearing a ring around. i shall continue wearing the ring. cause i like it. cause it reminds me of some childhood stuff. although the ring used to be peixuan. i got it from her as it was too big. :P i wonder if rings are allowed in school. i doubt so. i shall just keep it on. (:

i realized. strong emotions make me:
- CRY. epicly. and alot. and randomly.
- HIGH. randomly. for short periods of time.
- MOOD SWING. epicly. and randomly. for a long time.
- INSANE. for short periods of time. mental breakdown?
- FEEL LIKE SCREAMING. which i dont do. since i dont scream.
- EAT LIKE HELL. i eat tons when i have strong emotions.
- READ. although this is more de-stress. and when i read, i read for a few hours at a shot. im an addict, and i cant stop.

looking back, that whole paragraph does not make sense. oh well. if you can understand. good for you! :D

i just realized how much i miss the past.

when all else fails, just hold it there and listen to your heart beat

i realize i like songs with a strong, steady and clear beat in the background. most likely bass beats. they remind me of a heartbeat. :O

Attention was attention any way you cut it. It let a body know he was alive. It was acknowledgment, for something you did, rather than something you were. Or were not. Or had not.

And sometimes that was enough.

yeah baby tonight
the dj got us falling in love again
so dance dance
like its the last last
night of your life life
imma get you right

ahhh!

i got screwed by all my papers. dont know how to do alot. :O i think i'm going to end up in combined. not a very good thing. not that bad, but not exactly good either, more like despotism last resort. so depressing. oh well. cant do anything bout it now, lit, dnt, science and maths next week, paper 1 for both science and maths. :O weird. i dont likey. oh well.

i just tried cinnamon melts for macdonalds. 2.60 for pieces of soft fluffy pieces of bread like thingy covered with cinnamon and icing. so totally worth it. its DARN NICE! :D kind of sweetish for some people, but i like sweet things, so yeah. (:

bought random sushi too. :O those small roll ones with cucumber or egg or crabmeat kind or whatever kind. :D finished really fast. oh well.

i should stop reading and watching shows like anime or fantasy. you start wishing that all that was real, that the characters existed, not just only in some corner of your mind. you wish that all that could be true and you'd be involved, somehow being there. to wish for the things that are impossible and you will never get. i highly doubt everything is so fairytale like. oh well, it only serves to make people more depressed after awhile, but its addictive you know, like you just cant stop, you want to know more, to understand it, to be involved so much in it. (: or maybe i'm just reading too much into it. oh well.

i'm still moody, so random mood swings are still in effect. halfway through the exam today though, i suddenly realized i was flushed. like literally. usually im kind of a light tan, then underneath arms is like, normal skin. but suddenly it was like, warmish and i was completely reddish.(like cooked lobster! :O) i wonder what happened. maybe i have some disease and im going to die. (?!) hmm. we'll have to see. maybe it was just a one off thing. or maybe i was just too hot. :O oh well.

i realized everyday there will be one word that i will keep using in my posts. todays word apparantly is oh well. ._. i keep using throughout the post, like here and there. oh well. OH LOL. and its completely unconscious one. i just type. i just realize also, the song lyrics that appear in the more recent posts also reflect my emotions of the day. or the general one. hmm. today i was thinking morbid stuff, like last day like that. :O then i was thinking of somebody people. :O oh well.

i feel like staying with sombody else overnight! i dont feel like staying in my own home. it so boring and lonely. ): i wonder if i can save enough money to rent a chalet by myself. :O probably not. oh well. staying alone would be lonely and boring too i guess. oh well.

oh darn. i keep spamming oh well. ._. its subconscious! i swear!

The girl who seemed unbreakable broke, the girl who always laughed cried, the girl who never stop trying finally gave up. She dropped a fake smile as a tear ran down her cheek and she whispered to herself "i can't do this anymore".
yeah. cause this is applicable to everyone. if anyone needs me, i'll be there for you, no matter what. no matter what happens or anyone says, you are beautiful and loved. dont ever forget that.

hello! i just realized, i dont topiclize(?!) my posts anymore. i guess im too lazy. >: oh well. i think its more informal, but harder to organize my thoughts? haha.

i dont like people that comment badly on other things. for example, say a music video on justin bieber. there are tons of fans out there, but on youtube there are comments like he's so gay, his voice is terrible, etc etc on every video. but if you dont like it, why are you even listening or watching to it? to each his own i say. personally, i dont really like justin bieber, but i dont go around posting hate comments. or, more seriously, your objections to people. if you dont like this person, just shut up, nobody's asking you to talk or play with that person. sheesh.

on a happier note, i want to be those kind of people you know. like to go up to this random sad person, give that person a hug, and just tell that person that it'll be ok. of course, possibility of person shouting molest or something. (?!) i just want to cheer someone up. (: on the last day of school, or sometime around there, i shall do something. (: for my class people. just wait and see. i dont want people to be depressed like me. so, a few more weeks for me to plan. (:

love me or love me not
im staring at the clock
i pick them flower petals off
and then i watch them drop

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

I DONT KNOW WHY LAH. i just feel damned depressed. ok, im feeling depressed every day now when i reach home. i dont know why.

and i guess people were right. the things we want the most are the things we can never get.

sigh. i feel lonely. i have friends and family but i feel lonely.

oh well, tomorrow is maths. i shall fail my maths. then end up in combined. which is like sad. algebra, i hate you, go away.

i hate stories. and i love them, cause they paint pictures of futures so beautiful you instantly know their impossible, and yet you still wish you had. these kind leave you needing more and breaking your heart and mind.

i dont know whats going on in my mind and heart anymore.

hello. im doomed.

CHINESE PAPER WAS UBER FAIL. and i dont even really know what i was writing for english compo and compre sucked. so oh well. tomorrow is history. i dont think i can remember everything. and after that is maths. which happens to be one of the most important and my worst subject. ): so that is terribad.

i should study. now. for history. tomorrow. if not i'll fail. and get demoted to 3NA. then my mother will not get me an iphone and she'll be like. i told you so. and i'll be like. crying. and going. its my own fault! D: oh well. if i let myself fall i only have myself to blame.

I THINK THAT HAPPY PEOPLE ARE THE SADDEST! ): they hide sad things behind their smiles. ok. not all but some. i wonder if theres a world sad people day. apparantly not. oh well. one day i'll buy a packet of sticky smileys are go around giving one to every sad person i see. even if i dont know them. i'll probably be seen as psychotic and insane and dangerous and pervertic and probably look like i poisoned the sticky and want to kill them. then they'll call the police and i'll end up in jail just because i wanted to cheer someone up. that would be pathetic. maybe i'll choose a day in the holidays. hmm. :D

I SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE IM SUFFOCATING! orientation hasnt started yet but i think its gonna be hard. like die die hard. which means i have to work super hard for it. it probably helps that sec 2 batch friends are gonna be in comm. which means i'll work harder. im human, i biased too ok? :D and i have just apparently been randomly picked for week 7 announcement duty. which i am not happy about! i shall forget the pledge and creed and go hide under a rock for the rest of my life and cry. cause it'll be terrible. i had a P(announcement duty)=1/24 chance and i got it. WHYYYY. WHYYYYY. if i were that lucky i would have won all my lucky spins already. D: darn it.

im getting addicted to some stories and i cant stop reading. and i should be studying instead of reading these. what good does it do. I CANT HAVE THAT KIND OF LOVE. HOW DO PEOPLE FIND SOMEONE THAT LIKES THEM AS WELL AS YOU LIKE THEM!

i am convinced i have an old man's soul. or a middle age man's. i want to move out. i want to wake up with someone in my arms! not sexual lah. i just want the warmth of somebody cannot is it. i just realized this writing style isnt really me. hmmm. i wish i was 25 or something and in a relationship. and lived by myself. in some little cozy flat. or a bungalow. or a mansion. or a villa. or a cardboard box somewhere. D:

i am ranting. i am going into an insane mood. because of recent emotional status and announcement duty information. NOOO. this is week what. 3? D:4 more weeks?terrible. im going to take a piece of paper, write the pledge and student creed on it and hide it in the announcement book. then i'll look professional! and i just disclosed it to you so i'll look pathetic and lousy. how sad. oh well.

I CRAVE SOMETHING. or somebody. (: yes people, in case you havent noticed by now, i have somebody i like. for a long time. and no, you will not find out. (:

lalalalala. i think im going crazy. mood swings. get on the floor, baby lose control. IM GOING TO FAIL MY HISTORY. i crave something to distract me. guh. im distracted enough. i've been in fluttery moods. good moods randomly and then becoming sad. i dont like lonely things. thats why my stuff is always with something else. (: like now my history textbook is making friends with my laptop cloth and my tie is making friends with my wallet and house keys. and my phone and cup is making friends. :D and my bag is lying on top of a true singapore ghost stories 7. hmm? oh well. maybe my bag likes ghost stories. :D

I SWEAR I WILL STUDY MY HISTORY. sooner or later. either tonight, or i'll wake up at 4 to study. :D i've always managed to get through. somehow. or maybe my luck is going to run out. like seeing how i ended up on announcement duty when i prayed not to get it. DARN! D:

i just realized how this post is completely unorganized and messy and makes no sense at all. oh well. blame it on my current moods. im going insane~

ITS A BRITNEY SPEARS SEX RIOT!

GAY RIGHTS!
this topic is fun. alot of info floating around the web. :D

if you are agaisnt gay rights, go away. dont read this. ._.

i think its retarded that homosexuality is banned in singapore. i mean, if they're gay, then they're gay. so what? ._. why do we have to restrict gay people in singapore?

"October 2007, during the Penal Code review and repeal of the criminal status, the Singapore government declared that private, consensual, adult homosexual sex would no longer be prosecuted but that its illegality would remain as a statement of the values of the "conservative majority". "
apparantly only in adults. so its because singapores are "conservative"?
what the heck is this man. ._. are we that conservative? ok. the adults are i guess.

"Anal penetrative sex is inherently damaging to the body and is a misuse of organs"
what? ._. so having sex doesnt damage the vagina at all? i dont think gay people walk around holding their asses. :D if they want to spoil their own organs, let them do it.

"oral and anal sex spread HIV and AIDS"
so normal sex doesnt spread HIV and AIDS? accidents? drug addicts with needles?

"MPs in Singapore have legalised oral and anal sex for adult heterosexuals but kept the ban on gay sex, saying that the bill was what citizens in the conservative island state wanted."
so biased. so what about the previous point! so hetero people won't pass around HIV and AIDS but homo people will? ._.

"The family is the basic building block of this society. And by family in Singapore we mean one man, one woman, marrying, having children and bringing up children within that framework of a stable family unit." -Lee Hsien Loong
i think this is biased. ._. no offence, but i dont think people will go extinct just like that, i think there are alot more hetero people around. and at the family part, so single people dont contribute?

"If you are not honorable enough to fight without prejudice, go home!" -Lady Gaga i support you! this is in reference that homophobic soldiers that claim they cant work well with a homosexual soldier with them. :D i mean, its not like homo people are just going to jump you or something. ._. so.. GO GAGA! :D

They are medically downgraded to a Public Employment Status of C (PES C), regardless of their level of fitness, and put through modified Basic Military Training. On graduation, they are deployed in a vocation which has no security risks, posted to non-sensitive units and given a security status which restricts their access to classified documents.
this refers to servicemen who are discovered to be gay. i think this is dumb. so they cannot be trained normally? cannot be trusted? what the heck. ._.

summary
gay rights in singapore is retarded.

no offence to anything or anyone out there. these are just my thoughts. and im not gay. i just support gay rights. (:

HELLO! IM AT THE BISHAN LIBRARY! with librarians keep staring at us. cause alot of people cramping into a little space. :D

im not studying! at all. hehehe. im crapping. hehehehehe. oh by the way. i managed to sign up for wireless at SG. its free! :O

britney episode of glee was not up to expectations! plot and britney was uber not linked. but songs were weird. like weird weird. TOXIC was good. hit me one more time was weird. me agaisnt the music and im a slave 4 u and stronger wasnt too bad i guess. still like toxic most. :D

im going to fail all my exams. D: hello. i dont know what to post. this is retarded. lalalalalalalalala. hello world. 5 people i know have menses now. :O their all girls. how do you spell menses. mensus or menses. oh well.

UPDATE!

ITS MY 38TH POST! :O i apologize for the non-updatedness for the past few days. but better than somebody! last post:2010年9月14日. :O UPDATE LAH KHASIM. ok. i highly doubt you even read my blog. ._.

i was sick
yesterday, and yesterday yesterday. yesterday yesterday was just a sore throat, with a killer cough and painful ness. then because i got into the rain and was not taking care of myself at class dinner, yesterday i had a fever/sore throat/coughing/runny nose/ headache. and i headache the whole day! D: killing me. i has not felt this sick since ever. D: then i want sleep, but too restless, so cannot. today seems ok though. still abit of sore throat and cough.

iPhone4
is gonna be my new phone! :D like yay. but im only going to buy next week. so w/e. :D i ish happy!

CAUSE BABY YOUR A FIREWORK
yeah. i likey fireworks. the video is so goood. good as in OMG IT MADE ME CRY. yeah. its so inspirational. i still dont get what the fuss over the gay kiss is about. i think its ok, i think its actually good that katy perry is showing the world how gay people need more confidence. ok, something like that. i dont know how to explain it. ._. GO AWAY HOMOPHOBES. WE DONT NEED YOU! :D

i shall end here. oh btw, class dinner was the bestest :D

somehow
it isnt that sad. i dont think it hit yet. maybe i'll cry overnight at the class chalet. or maybe i'll live in self-denial. still, i will miss this class. epicly loud and annoying class, but somehow still together as one. due to me having the camera, my facebook is getting spammed by notifications after i uploaded the photos. which is why i'm not on facebook right now. tomorrow is class dinner. so weird. i might wear class tee. with a sticky cap. cause its the only cap i have and i havent actually worn it yet. cause im just that bored. and i dont know what else to wear. well, we'll see. (:

my headphones
have officially died. which is like. so sad. now the left side completely no sound. and the right only got sound if you hold the connection at some weird angle. which i cant possibly hold. so i need new earpieces!

iphone4!
i want. but i dont know if my handphone plan is going to end soon. it should end soon, but not sure when. hmm. i should be getting an iphone. unless my mother randomly decides not to give me an iphone. D: but i wants. but we dont always get what we want. so oh well.

i read
a random story. which is depressing but true i guess. it was a fiction on how we as humans, and as the lower ones on the chain of command, how we have no choice but to keep quiet about what bad the uppers do to us. on how the uppers push off work to us, and we have no choice but to accept it with a fake smile and carry on. and also on how a person can be so close to cracking but nobody else notices, even when its so obvious. which makes me think, how often does it apply to all of us. i think it applies to everyone, cause everyone has their own breaking point, and sometime it reaches so close, but nobody ever realizes, and even if they do, you just pretend that everything is fine, and you just say "i'm fine" and the others just move on, accepting it and forgetting about you soon. everyone has their neuroses and i guess we mostly keep it to ourselves. and then i wonder, how long till i break? but then, who knows?

i have matured
apparantly. based on my report book. and i guess its true. i am mature ok! i just dont show it much. and as a standard in most of my comments, they say how i need to find a balance. and oh well. we'll just see.

how lovely
life is. i just realized im a liar. but then again, who isnt. we lie about the small things, and then eventually, you realize that all these small things just kill you eventually. but you realize that you cant stop. and eventually you break.

laughs
to get off the uber serious topic. i went to youtube. and found this. last year video
where katy perry gets her boobs plastered. :O kind of hilarious. and weird. i wonder who bought it. and another more recent but kind of old news video. where katy perry sings on sesame street! :O

i shall end here. so should i wear class tee?

this post is dedicated to the awesome 204. im not going to write individual messages, cause i rock like that. actually its cause im too lazy to write one by one.

guys, through these two years together, through the uncountable time we spent together, we have bonded, in some way or another. some of us may not be close, but still, we care. some of might not even like each other, but in the end, we are still one class no matter what. can we for this last day together, put aside all unhappy feelings, and be together for this one day, happy and as one? we will never have this chance again, with all of us together, and we have already missed our chance of a complete class outing. our numbers have dropped, but im sure somewhere, somehow, he knows. and she isnt here anymore. but we are forever as one. i dont care what the others say, and im sure you guys know too. we're 41, no matter what. we're 204, and its not going to change. no matter where we go, we will carry this piece of all of us everywhere. can we forget all of our prejudices and fights, and childish things, so we can just be a class? but then again, who are we if we dont have all our little flaws? but still, can we at least talk to each other. cause i dont want us to end like this, with some of us not even saying anything. i know im not close with a few of you guys, especially some of the guys. but even so, i will miss you. cause we're altogether as one.

204, i love you. all of you are original, cannot be replaced. and cause we rock like that. you're all beautiful/handsome and amazing. and dont ever forget that. for someone somewhere, will care for you and think of you.

oh gosh. i cant believe i took so long to write so little. i also cant believe i was crying while writing this. i dont express my feelings well ok? so be happy that im writing this, not like most other stuff where i dont even write notes. cause we're awesome and cant be forgotten.

KARMA
baby. Indonesia has been hit by an earthquake! sorry to say this indonesia, but karma's a bitch. retribution for the haze. if any indonesian people read this, i apologize, i feel sad that it has happened, but still, the haze may be killing people here. so, KARMA BABY, KARMA.

MILKING
i dreamt that i was getting milked. again. there are 2 senses of the word.
1) that i could possibly be a cow, and a female one at that.
2) and milking can be refered to males. think about it yourself. what is thick and white and can be drank?
this is probably not normal. in reference to 2. wouldnt that be a blowjob? ._. im underage man. go away.
oh. and if your wondering how i know 2. dont ask. and dont wonder. i just know. cause im smart like that.

COMBINATION
has been submitted. no regrets baby. this is my choices
1) 2bBE
2) 1BE
3) 2bAE
and in reference to that, here are my marks.
English -71 marks, A2
HCL - 47 marks, D7
Maths - 54 marks, C6
Science - 73 marks, A2
Geog - 57 marks, C5
Hist - 57 marks, C5
Lit - 67 marks, B4
D&T - 78 marks, A1
Art - 56 marks, C5
Civic & moral education - A
Music -B
Project Work - B
Percentage - 62.2%
L1R5 - 18
important ones are in bold. my results are terribad. last in class, 201/242 in level. i am a weird person, science got triple science standard, maths uber fail. lets see, for double with elective, i need 65%, 60 science, 70 maths, IF I AM NOT WRONG. so. we'll see if i can actually get into my stream of choice. oh well. i already know im weird. that science and maths should be together. w/e. im a weird person, and im unique, so i'm awesome and i rock.

i think i shall end here today. oh, P6 recruitment, tomorrow, i dont like you. thankyouverymuch.

touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me. i wanna be dirty!

sadistic

but still, i smiled epicly when i saw this. :O i need happy things! :D and this has made my day. it filled my mind with whacking a certain SOMEONE over the head. :D umm. yeah. :D

though this one is sad

yeah. so if you understand it, you see why its sad. and this reminds me of some other stuff that is completely unrelated but was so sad it made me cry. gosh. :O not good. sigh. i shall divert the topic from that depressing thingy.

i shall be happy

:D though. this is kinda homophobic. me no likey. D:

i need to think of things to write
cause i have no idea what to write anymore. D: i am topicless. gosh. i need an intelligent topic that can make me look good. :D

ANNOUNCER DUTY
sucks. cause i dont like it. cause i panic and get stage fright. D: its so much easier when you cant actually tell anyone is looking at you. and when your not alone. unfortunately, the world doesnt work like that. so. yeah. do i talk too fast? apparantly so. i shall -attempt- to do better. 3 more days! :D

SRR GAMES DAY
has irritated me. cause i got a last minute notice, rushed out the whole event proposal in the space of a few hours, and then it got cancelled! although, i kind of wanted it to be cancelled, cause it was very rush and hard to organize and just kind of weird. but still, i wasted a few hours of my life! D: postponed to next year. and things shall be improved. mr pah said not too bad of an idea though. hmmm. ._.

P6 Recruitment Talk
is on wednesday, 9am to 11.30am ish? i still have cca after that. dont want go cca. cca boring! cca nothing to do! cca should just end now and continue next year and not have cca during holidays! CCA IS WONDERFUL! yeah right. :D read between the lines. or, on the line? ._. oh well. :P

i just realized
that i have run out of topics for today. and actually got quite a few topics, linkless, boring and pointless. :O oh well. :D

OH SORRY! i didnt realize the comics were that huge. :P oh well.

its not like i have a choice. yeesh. D:

im not telling you what that means. go figure. ._. im turning more pessimistic. not a very good thing. my original post was going to be a one liner. directed to some people. and not very nice. oh well. but i didnt want to.

i have no idea what im doing anymore. i have no idea whats going on in my life. :o. lets just see whats going on currently in my life.
1) orientation aic
2) srr games day oic (?)
3) morning announcer next week, this week? ._.
4) appreciation week duties
5) srr meeting (?)
6) intensive camp
7) dentals
8) tuition, after exam. haha. ._.
9) class chalet
10) outings(?)
11) combination choices
12) dread of next year

i dont even know what im actually trying to get from the list. ._. i think theres more, but i just dont remember. which is not good. i should stop doubting myself. ._. oh well.

facebook helps to pass time.

woo hoo combined science.
apparantly one sister took double, chem/physics.
the other one took combined with pure bio. which this school doesnt give. D:

my results are terrible.

i need more books to read. but i dont know what kind of books i want to read.

ilikeyou.youronmymindallthetime.

hello world. its 21/10/2010. 20/10/2010 is gone like the wind.

sometimes you wonder how the time went by, and then you realize you cant even remember much of the time that has passed. it makes you want to think, how did i spend all the time? was none of it memorable? of course, you remember the little bits of pieces, but you cant remember the order in which they happen and then everything just runs together to become one big memory. which is sad. do you have a special person that you remember moments with? do you have a person you want to spend time with? treasure it. it's not gonna last.

i have no idea why im sitting in the dark and thinking such sombre thoughts. i'm probably killing my eyes doing this, not that their not already killed enough. im going to go blind. so much for seeing the world. i think. i'll move on to happier topics.

i spent about 3 hours drawing today. just this one character from fairy tail, jellal. he doesn't really look like jellal. he looks like a completely different character. ok. not completely different, but not really recognizable. but its not too bad i guess. considering how i've never really learnt how to draw characters and this is my first attempt. kind of. i may consider touching up in school if i get too bored. im not really satisfied with it i guess. but i can't do it till those perfect kinds of sketches some people do. i might pick up drawing in my free time, like copying different anime characters i like. we'll see. i think i'll stick to face drawings. too lazy and time comsuming to draw the whole body. and i cant draw the body properly either. i cant draw the limbs properly. i cant really draw eyes either. not very nice. uneven! D: so depressing. oh well.

i've finished my sticky. well, most of it. left only a bit, like 10 pieces left. i might go refill my jar, but its so far away. maybe i'll get someone to refill it for me. hmm. i think this post is dragging on. im trying to think of stuff to write. cant really think of anything more.

so the end. goodnight.

its my 31st post! i dont have much interesting to post.

hmm.This is rather interesting. cuddle seats! :O what if the people got horny. brings mental to people. hmm. sides that, can you imagine standing for a few hours?! with no place to move. thats so sad. news is interesting. for now. :O

i forgot how to link for a moment. then i had to go check my blog links. :O sorry people, whom i should have linked but im too lazy to edit and add in. pfft. oh well.

my sticky is almost finished! :O at least orientation base schedule is down. somewhat. haha.

i is got arrowed for golf ushering. actually, i dont really mind. 3.30 released. actually. to be specific. 3.30 fully dressed at foyer. i need about 10ish mins to change full blazer? i'm not sure. hmm. but, i might have pt before that. for cca. which would mean that i'd be sweating like heck. im going to stink. :O i shall reclarify the defination of "excused from cca" whole thing? or from 3ish. but cca starts at 2.30. so hmm?! ridiculous. this makes no sense. and mr tang is gonna harp on this. say i biased to SLB. haha. :O oh well. the ushering should be fun though. dinner provided, transport home not. serangoon mrt i guess. :O my beloved mrt. oh wait. im walking home in my blazer? :O oops. i wonder if i'll be stared at. oh well. fun. :D

i have no idea what to post. i think i have to get back to school specially to pick up my blazer tomorrow. :O or thursday. preferably tomorrow. i realize also, i have no key. so how to take? cant be just go there lucky lucky see if got key anot. and i require an ER member. so how? :O terrible! terrible! :O i have nothing else to write.

nothing else to write. nothing else to write~ i think orientation will be funish. but stressful. and full of breakdowns. OH NO! :O but with friends so oh well. we'll see how things work out.

i dont think i have anything else to post. so. goodnight! :O

its my 30th post already! :O

surprise surprise. STICKY.

sorry. abit random. i get more random when i'm tired!

tomorrow is child's eye.

reviews say not that good. its corny and rely on soundtracks.

whatever. :O

frisbees are fun. small bikes for big people are not.

i find myself listening to lucifer. randomly. hmm?

im not usually a fan of kpop.

ok. back to normal songs.

i am trying to open the post exam schedule.

TOMORROWS POST EXAM IS WEIRD MAN.

weird physics thingy. and IP thingy. and photoshoot? individual? OMG. so ugly.

i have 3148 unread emails. hmm.

i have the 204th and 1111th post on class photo on facebook! :O

when make believe is better than your every day life. this is common. and commonly wanted.

BLEH.

fishballs. i feel like eating fishballs.

tomorrow im watching a movie! i shall change in school tomorrow. if i can decide what to wear. or maybe i'll change at J8. whatever.

sticky. i shall bring my sticky jar to school tomorrow. yeaaaah. its the end of the world.

whatever. if we die we'll die.

we shall roast tomorrow. in the field. under the sun. and turn into dried bits of human.

i wonder if we taste nice. ._.

cannibal!

still. :O are there cannibals in the world now? legal ones? hmm.

WHATEVER.

i shall. stop my random thoughts. now. before i link this to some uber weird topic.

hmm. i apologize for the uber random linking and post today. :O im getting lazy to post. darn! D:

fairy tail is epic amusing. i love it. :D

hello. i have not been posting recently. i am guilty as charged. D:

i had KFC for dinner last night! :D cause my grandparents went to malaysia, then nobody cook.

i went to the dentist yesterday yesterday and i broke my brace yesterday. but i lazy go dentist again. so can only chew on the left side.

today there are people coming to my house to eat lunch and crap. they are not here yet. due to various reasons. such as spongebob being distracting and failure to notice the time. some cant be controlled, like bus. but the others are weird. and quite epic. i should try sometime. go somewhere a few hours late. say i was distracted by something. :D they are supposed to be here by 12. :O

i remember i had this cheem thinking yesterday. but i cant remember it now. :O we'll see whether i post it up. if i can remember it. ._.

DUMB PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE HERE NOW. i shall continue waiting. (:

hello world.

I HAVE NOTHING TO POST! OMG.

tomorrow is the last day of exams.

i am going to sticky tomorrow.

i will most probably get my cap tomorrow.

i am going to the dentist tomorrow.

should i change my braces band to purple?

hmmm! interesting.

ok. nothing is actually that interesting.

fairy tail is hilarious. i likey.

DUETS WAS EPIC. I LIKEY MORE.

thats all folks.

OMG THERES NO CCA ON FRIDAY. YES!

you did not just see me cheer for having no cca. you DID NOT see that. (:

short post! i think. we'll see as i write. :D

I HAVE ADVICE FOR YOU! dont fall too much. too painful. D: and dont do stupid things. like flying off a board. and falling epicly onto the floor to sprawl there and look miserable and hurt all over. i now ache all over. seriously. though. im starting to get better at swaveboard. (: alot better i think. but i realized i got lousier at my biking skills. ok. i was always that lousy. i cant turn well. so. yeah.

tomorrow is maths! the day after is science! im screwed! yay. i shall not care anymore. i dont think i can even get into double science. my maths score is too lousy. oh well. appeal? or just go combined. i hope lit get 65%. :O dnt was today. was kind of weird. and dumb. and weird. and fail. and i dont know how to do alot. haha. so oh well~

i dont know what to say anymore. hmm.

you know i know how
to make em stop and stare as i zone out
the club cant even handle me right now
watching you watching me i go all out
the club cant even handle me right now

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

hello. i shall give up on topicifying.(?!) :O i dont think thats a word. maybe topicfying? topicing. topicying? i doubt so. HIGHLY.

once again, i have spent time during the weekend and after school crapping and doing things completely non related and not helpful to my exams. oops. so much for working hard for streaming. :O

LIT PAPER WAS MURDEROUS! it tried to kill us. i swear. 4 questions, 50 marks, 1 and a half hour. IT IS HARD OK. RUSH LIKE SIAO. and section B, anyhow spam, and i think i didnt actually answer the question. hmm. put in total about 4 pages of writing for 4 questions. so.. not too bad. haha.

TOMORROW IS DNT PAPER. I SHALL HECK CARE. cause dnt, you suck and i hate you. :D and im too lazy to memorize the darn material lists. the rest i shall use common sense. YAY! i typed out the materials on word for peixuan, just the TABLES! and there were 906 words. NINE HUNDRED AND SIX WORDS. on metals, wood and plastic. D: and no elaboration okay! whatever. i shall not care. D:

WAVE BOARDING MADE MY ASS HURT. D: falling on ass and/or smacking into a wall is not fun. however, going around on one is fun. :D

i have taken to wearing a ring around. i shall continue wearing the ring. cause i like it. cause it reminds me of some childhood stuff. although the ring used to be peixuan. i got it from her as it was too big. :P i wonder if rings are allowed in school. i doubt so. i shall just keep it on. (:

i realized. strong emotions make me:
- CRY. epicly. and alot. and randomly.
- HIGH. randomly. for short periods of time.
- MOOD SWING. epicly. and randomly. for a long time.
- INSANE. for short periods of time. mental breakdown?
- FEEL LIKE SCREAMING. which i dont do. since i dont scream.
- EAT LIKE HELL. i eat tons when i have strong emotions.
- READ. although this is more de-stress. and when i read, i read for a few hours at a shot. im an addict, and i cant stop.

looking back, that whole paragraph does not make sense. oh well. if you can understand. good for you! :D

i just realized how much i miss the past.

when all else fails, just hold it there and listen to your heart beat

i realize i like songs with a strong, steady and clear beat in the background. most likely bass beats. they remind me of a heartbeat. :O

Attention was attention any way you cut it. It let a body know he was alive. It was acknowledgment, for something you did, rather than something you were. Or were not. Or had not.

And sometimes that was enough.

yeah baby tonight
the dj got us falling in love again
so dance dance
like its the last last
night of your life life
imma get you right

ahhh!

i got screwed by all my papers. dont know how to do alot. :O i think i'm going to end up in combined. not a very good thing. not that bad, but not exactly good either, more like despotism last resort. so depressing. oh well. cant do anything bout it now, lit, dnt, science and maths next week, paper 1 for both science and maths. :O weird. i dont likey. oh well.

i just tried cinnamon melts for macdonalds. 2.60 for pieces of soft fluffy pieces of bread like thingy covered with cinnamon and icing. so totally worth it. its DARN NICE! :D kind of sweetish for some people, but i like sweet things, so yeah. (:

bought random sushi too. :O those small roll ones with cucumber or egg or crabmeat kind or whatever kind. :D finished really fast. oh well.

i should stop reading and watching shows like anime or fantasy. you start wishing that all that was real, that the characters existed, not just only in some corner of your mind. you wish that all that could be true and you'd be involved, somehow being there. to wish for the things that are impossible and you will never get. i highly doubt everything is so fairytale like. oh well, it only serves to make people more depressed after awhile, but its addictive you know, like you just cant stop, you want to know more, to understand it, to be involved so much in it. (: or maybe i'm just reading too much into it. oh well.

i'm still moody, so random mood swings are still in effect. halfway through the exam today though, i suddenly realized i was flushed. like literally. usually im kind of a light tan, then underneath arms is like, normal skin. but suddenly it was like, warmish and i was completely reddish.(like cooked lobster! :O) i wonder what happened. maybe i have some disease and im going to die. (?!) hmm. we'll have to see. maybe it was just a one off thing. or maybe i was just too hot. :O oh well.

i realized everyday there will be one word that i will keep using in my posts. todays word apparantly is oh well. ._. i keep using throughout the post, like here and there. oh well. OH LOL. and its completely unconscious one. i just type. i just realize also, the song lyrics that appear in the more recent posts also reflect my emotions of the day. or the general one. hmm. today i was thinking morbid stuff, like last day like that. :O then i was thinking of somebody people. :O oh well.

i feel like staying with sombody else overnight! i dont feel like staying in my own home. it so boring and lonely. ): i wonder if i can save enough money to rent a chalet by myself. :O probably not. oh well. staying alone would be lonely and boring too i guess. oh well.

oh darn. i keep spamming oh well. ._. its subconscious! i swear!

The girl who seemed unbreakable broke, the girl who always laughed cried, the girl who never stop trying finally gave up. She dropped a fake smile as a tear ran down her cheek and she whispered to herself "i can't do this anymore".
yeah. cause this is applicable to everyone. if anyone needs me, i'll be there for you, no matter what. no matter what happens or anyone says, you are beautiful and loved. dont ever forget that.

hello! i just realized, i dont topiclize(?!) my posts anymore. i guess im too lazy. >: oh well. i think its more informal, but harder to organize my thoughts? haha.

i dont like people that comment badly on other things. for example, say a music video on justin bieber. there are tons of fans out there, but on youtube there are comments like he's so gay, his voice is terrible, etc etc on every video. but if you dont like it, why are you even listening or watching to it? to each his own i say. personally, i dont really like justin bieber, but i dont go around posting hate comments. or, more seriously, your objections to people. if you dont like this person, just shut up, nobody's asking you to talk or play with that person. sheesh.

on a happier note, i want to be those kind of people you know. like to go up to this random sad person, give that person a hug, and just tell that person that it'll be ok. of course, possibility of person shouting molest or something. (?!) i just want to cheer someone up. (: on the last day of school, or sometime around there, i shall do something. (: for my class people. just wait and see. i dont want people to be depressed like me. so, a few more weeks for me to plan. (:

love me or love me not
im staring at the clock
i pick them flower petals off
and then i watch them drop

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

I DONT KNOW WHY LAH. i just feel damned depressed. ok, im feeling depressed every day now when i reach home. i dont know why.

and i guess people were right. the things we want the most are the things we can never get.

sigh. i feel lonely. i have friends and family but i feel lonely.

oh well, tomorrow is maths. i shall fail my maths. then end up in combined. which is like sad. algebra, i hate you, go away.

i hate stories. and i love them, cause they paint pictures of futures so beautiful you instantly know their impossible, and yet you still wish you had. these kind leave you needing more and breaking your heart and mind.

i dont know whats going on in my mind and heart anymore.

hello. im doomed.

CHINESE PAPER WAS UBER FAIL. and i dont even really know what i was writing for english compo and compre sucked. so oh well. tomorrow is history. i dont think i can remember everything. and after that is maths. which happens to be one of the most important and my worst subject. ): so that is terribad.

i should study. now. for history. tomorrow. if not i'll fail. and get demoted to 3NA. then my mother will not get me an iphone and she'll be like. i told you so. and i'll be like. crying. and going. its my own fault! D: oh well. if i let myself fall i only have myself to blame.

I THINK THAT HAPPY PEOPLE ARE THE SADDEST! ): they hide sad things behind their smiles. ok. not all but some. i wonder if theres a world sad people day. apparantly not. oh well. one day i'll buy a packet of sticky smileys are go around giving one to every sad person i see. even if i dont know them. i'll probably be seen as psychotic and insane and dangerous and pervertic and probably look like i poisoned the sticky and want to kill them. then they'll call the police and i'll end up in jail just because i wanted to cheer someone up. that would be pathetic. maybe i'll choose a day in the holidays. hmm. :D

I SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE IM SUFFOCATING! orientation hasnt started yet but i think its gonna be hard. like die die hard. which means i have to work super hard for it. it probably helps that sec 2 batch friends are gonna be in comm. which means i'll work harder. im human, i biased too ok? :D and i have just apparently been randomly picked for week 7 announcement duty. which i am not happy about! i shall forget the pledge and creed and go hide under a rock for the rest of my life and cry. cause it'll be terrible. i had a P(announcement duty)=1/24 chance and i got it. WHYYYY. WHYYYYY. if i were that lucky i would have won all my lucky spins already. D: darn it.

im getting addicted to some stories and i cant stop reading. and i should be studying instead of reading these. what good does it do. I CANT HAVE THAT KIND OF LOVE. HOW DO PEOPLE FIND SOMEONE THAT LIKES THEM AS WELL AS YOU LIKE THEM!

i am convinced i have an old man's soul. or a middle age man's. i want to move out. i want to wake up with someone in my arms! not sexual lah. i just want the warmth of somebody cannot is it. i just realized this writing style isnt really me. hmmm. i wish i was 25 or something and in a relationship. and lived by myself. in some little cozy flat. or a bungalow. or a mansion. or a villa. or a cardboard box somewhere. D:

i am ranting. i am going into an insane mood. because of recent emotional status and announcement duty information. NOOO. this is week what. 3? D:4 more weeks?terrible. im going to take a piece of paper, write the pledge and student creed on it and hide it in the announcement book. then i'll look professional! and i just disclosed it to you so i'll look pathetic and lousy. how sad. oh well.

I CRAVE SOMETHING. or somebody. (: yes people, in case you havent noticed by now, i have somebody i like. for a long time. and no, you will not find out. (:

lalalalala. i think im going crazy. mood swings. get on the floor, baby lose control. IM GOING TO FAIL MY HISTORY. i crave something to distract me. guh. im distracted enough. i've been in fluttery moods. good moods randomly and then becoming sad. i dont like lonely things. thats why my stuff is always with something else. (: like now my history textbook is making friends with my laptop cloth and my tie is making friends with my wallet and house keys. and my phone and cup is making friends. :D and my bag is lying on top of a true singapore ghost stories 7. hmm? oh well. maybe my bag likes ghost stories. :D

I SWEAR I WILL STUDY MY HISTORY. sooner or later. either tonight, or i'll wake up at 4 to study. :D i've always managed to get through. somehow. or maybe my luck is going to run out. like seeing how i ended up on announcement duty when i prayed not to get it. DARN! D:

i just realized how this post is completely unorganized and messy and makes no sense at all. oh well. blame it on my current moods. im going insane~

ITS A BRITNEY SPEARS SEX RIOT!

GAY RIGHTS!
this topic is fun. alot of info floating around the web. :D

if you are agaisnt gay rights, go away. dont read this. ._.

i think its retarded that homosexuality is banned in singapore. i mean, if they're gay, then they're gay. so what? ._. why do we have to restrict gay people in singapore?

"October 2007, during the Penal Code review and repeal of the criminal status, the Singapore government declared that private, consensual, adult homosexual sex would no longer be prosecuted but that its illegality would remain as a statement of the values of the "conservative majority". "
apparantly only in adults. so its because singapores are "conservative"?
what the heck is this man. ._. are we that conservative? ok. the adults are i guess.

"Anal penetrative sex is inherently damaging to the body and is a misuse of organs"
what? ._. so having sex doesnt damage the vagina at all? i dont think gay people walk around holding their asses. :D if they want to spoil their own organs, let them do it.

"oral and anal sex spread HIV and AIDS"
so normal sex doesnt spread HIV and AIDS? accidents? drug addicts with needles?

"MPs in Singapore have legalised oral and anal sex for adult heterosexuals but kept the ban on gay sex, saying that the bill was what citizens in the conservative island state wanted."
so biased. so what about the previous point! so hetero people won't pass around HIV and AIDS but homo people will? ._.

"The family is the basic building block of this society. And by family in Singapore we mean one man, one woman, marrying, having children and bringing up children within that framework of a stable family unit." -Lee Hsien Loong
i think this is biased. ._. no offence, but i dont think people will go extinct just like that, i think there are alot more hetero people around. and at the family part, so single people dont contribute?

"If you are not honorable enough to fight without prejudice, go home!" -Lady Gaga i support you! this is in reference that homophobic soldiers that claim they cant work well with a homosexual soldier with them. :D i mean, its not like homo people are just going to jump you or something. ._. so.. GO GAGA! :D

They are medically downgraded to a Public Employment Status of C (PES C), regardless of their level of fitness, and put through modified Basic Military Training. On graduation, they are deployed in a vocation which has no security risks, posted to non-sensitive units and given a security status which restricts their access to classified documents.
this refers to servicemen who are discovered to be gay. i think this is dumb. so they cannot be trained normally? cannot be trusted? what the heck. ._.

summary
gay rights in singapore is retarded.

no offence to anything or anyone out there. these are just my thoughts. and im not gay. i just support gay rights. (:

HELLO! IM AT THE BISHAN LIBRARY! with librarians keep staring at us. cause alot of people cramping into a little space. :D

im not studying! at all. hehehe. im crapping. hehehehehe. oh by the way. i managed to sign up for wireless at SG. its free! :O

britney episode of glee was not up to expectations! plot and britney was uber not linked. but songs were weird. like weird weird. TOXIC was good. hit me one more time was weird. me agaisnt the music and im a slave 4 u and stronger wasnt too bad i guess. still like toxic most. :D

im going to fail all my exams. D: hello. i dont know what to post. this is retarded. lalalalalalalalala. hello world. 5 people i know have menses now. :O their all girls. how do you spell menses. mensus or menses. oh well.

UPDATE!